Why don’t my friends and I talk to each other more?
Mike Lawrence explores emotional overwhelm, the sandwich generation, and why silence doesn’t mean people don’t care.
That line stopped me mid-scroll.
On my weekly dive into what’s happening across the wellbeing landscape, I came across an article by Annabel Streets exploring the pressure facing what’s often called the sandwich generation — people supporting ageing parents while still showing up for children, work, partners, and everyone else in between.
But it wasn’t the statistics that landed most heavily.
It was the question:
Why don’t my friends and I talk to each other more?
Because underneath that question sits something I’m hearing more and more in my work — and it’s far less polished than people might expect.
There’s a quiet guilt many people are carrying right now.
A sense they should be checking in more.
Replying quicker.
Showing up better.
And on the surface, it can look like friendships are weakening.
But when you create space for honesty, a very different truth emerges.
People aren’t withdrawing because they don’t care.
They’re withdrawing because they’re overwhelmed.
When clients open up — really open up — the language isn’t curated or neat in the wellbeing industry.
It’s raw.
Why Don’t My Friends and I Talk to Each Other More?
It sounds more like:
“I’m struggling to cope.”
“I don’t know if I can carry on like this.”
“It’s never-ending.”
“Something’s got to give.”
There’s weight in those words.
Fatigue.
Pressure.
A sense that they’re only just holding things together.
When someone feels that way internally, reaching out to check on someone else can feel like one demand too many.
Not because they don’t want to…
But because they genuinely don’t have the capacity.
We also have to acknowledge the wider climate people are living in right now.
Many are navigating layer upon layer of pressure:
Cost-of-living strain.
Rising personal debt.
Job insecurity or organisational change.
Relentless workload demands.
Their own declining mental health.
Drinking more than they’d like just to switch off.
When you stack that much weight on someone’s shoulders, they move into survival mode.
They’re still going.
Still working.
Still caregiving.
Still showing up.
But emotionally?
They’re running low on reserves.
You see it in the unanswered messages.
The voice notes you mean to reply to.
The friendships sitting in drafts rather than disappearing entirely.
Silence isn’t absence.
Sometimes it’s someone doing everything they can just to stay upright.
This is where I found myself aligned with Annabel Street’s reflection.
From what I see every week — across workplaces, leadership spaces, and private conversations — friendships aren’t breaking down.
People are carrying too much, for too long, without enough space to put any of it down.
And eventually, something has to give.
Often, it’s social energy.
Maybe the invitation here isn’t for more communication.
Maybe it’s more honest communication.
Connection doesn’t always need depth.
Sometimes it just needs honesty.
“I don’t have much to give right now.”
“I’m doing the best I can.”
That still counts.
Because friendship isn’t measured by how often we speak…
But by the understanding that sits underneath the silence.
If this reflection has been sitting with you for a while, here’s a gentle place to start.
Say something to someone you trust before it all stays locked in your head.
You don’t have to unpack everything.
Even naming that you’re struggling can release pressure.
And if what you’re carrying has been building over time, sometimes having somewhere neutral to put things down can make all the difference.
There is free and paid support available — through workplaces, charities, NHS pathways, and private practitioners.
Many people quietly wonder, why don’t my friends and I talk to each other more? — when the real answer often sits in emotional overload.
You were never meant to carry all of this alone.
P.S. If you’ve been feeling guilty for going quiet lately, this is your reminder that silence doesn’t mean you don’t care. Sometimes it just means life feels heavy — and you’re doing your best to carry it.
Mike Lawrence: Your Guide to Health & Wellbeing
I’m Mike Lawrence, a passionate advocate for mental health and wellbeing. After overcoming significant health challenges, including brain surgery, I’ve dedicated myself to a journey of self-improvement and helping others thrive. From heart-pounding skydives for charity to soul-enriching travels in Thailand, my experiences have shaped my approach to holistic health.
I love sharing the lessons I’ve learned from these adventures and the powerful audiobooks I devour. Let’s explore the paths to better mental and physical health together. Embrace life’s adventures with enthusiasm and resilience, and remember—you’re never alone on this journey!
Feel free to email me at hello@mikelawrence.co.uk or connect with me on LinkedIn. For more in-depth insights and inspiring stories, read my latest blogs here. Together, let’s create a healthier, happier future!
