What do you say when someone says “I’m not”? (Workplace Mental Health)

Mike Lawrence speaking about mental health conversations and workplace wellbeing

Hi Reader,

Warmer mornings. Lighter evenings. A sense that things should feel different.

And yet, for many organisations and individuals I’ve been working with recently…

👉 The pressure hasn’t changed.

April was a busy one — MHFA courses, refresher sessions, speaking engagements… even recording a podcast.

But across all of them, there’s been a constant thread.

People don’t always know what to say when it really matters.

I was in a workshop recently and opened with a simple question:

“How are you?”

Then paused.

One person said, “I’m not.”

Then another.

Then another.

Out of a room of leaders, nearly half said the same.

That wasn’t the response I was expecting.

If I’m honest, it was refreshing.

Because more often than not, the response is:

“I’m fine.”
“All good.”
“How are you?”

But what do you say when someone says they’re not?

That’s the moment people tend to avoid.

Change the subject.
Reassure too quickly.
Or hope it passes.

👉 And that’s the gap.

Not awareness.

👉 Confidence to know what to say — when it’s least expected, when it really counts.

With Mental Health Awareness Week coming up, that feels more relevant than ever.

Because awareness is growing.

But in the moment someone opens up — even slightly — it’s no longer theory.

👉 That’s early intervention — happening in real time.

And how you respond matters.

If that’s something you’re recognising in your organisation, it might be worth a conversation.

👉 https://mikelawrence.co.uk/speaker/

— Mike

🔥 Mental Health First Aid — what people actually say

When people join the course, I always ask:

👉 “Why are you here?”

And the responses are usually very similar.

“I want to know what to say.”
“I don’t want to trigger anything.”
“I’ve experienced mental health challenges myself.”
“Someone at work… or at home… is struggling — and I want to help.”

It’s rarely about the qualification.

👉 It’s about knowing how to respond in that moment.

But what do you say when someone says they’re not?

That’s the moment people tend to avoid.

Change the subject.
Drop into pity.
Or jump in with, “Don’t worry, I know what it feels like — it’s happened to me too.”

And it’s well-intentioned.

👉 But it often misses what the person actually needs.

That’s where the course comes in.

Not with scripts.

👉 But with the confidence to handle that moment properly — in a way that actually supports the person in front of you.

📅 Upcoming sessions
2-Day MHFA Course — Live Online
29–30 June

MHFA Refresher
1 July

👉 https://mikelawrence.co.uk/mhfa-england-certified-mental-health-first-aid-training-online/

🌍 Resilience at the edge

I came across a trend recently that really made me think.

“Ready is the new well.”

The idea that wellbeing is no longer just about fitness or mindset…

👉 It’s about being prepared for disruption.

Floods. Power outages. Extreme weather.

What got me was this…

Even with all this focus on readiness…

👉 We’re still not preparing for those everyday, bread-and-butter conversations.

Learning how to start them.
And how to handle them when they don’t go to plan.

When someone says they’re struggling.
When something doesn’t feel right.
When the answer isn’t “I’m fine.”

You can have the best plans in place…

But if you don’t know what to say in that moment?

👉 That’s where it breaks down.

🎧 When your mind won’t switch off

A lot of the people I speak to aren’t lacking awareness.

👉 They’re just mentally full.

Too much going on.
Too many conversations.
Too little space.

That’s where something simple can help.

I use Brain.fm – not as a fix, but as support.

👉 To create space before the next conversation.

🎧 Try it here: Brain.fm free

📚 What I’m Reading, Watching & Listening To 🎧🎬

There are moments during the week when you need to switch off.

Not because you’re being unproductive — but because it’s part of self-care.

It’s how you step into your recovery zone. And that’s where real energy is rebuilt.

For some, that’s reading a book.
For others, watching a film or listening to music.

This is where I share what I’ve been turning to — the things that help me switch off, reset, and come back stronger.

If you’re looking for something to support your own recovery zone… dive in. 👇

📚

The Only Living Trusts Book You’ll Ever Need

Garrett Moore

Listened to this over the past few weeks.

A clear, step-by-step guide to setting up a trust — covering probate, protecting assets, and passing things on properly.

Really interesting insights if you’re dealing with property, wills, or thinking ahead.

👉 Food for thought.

🎬

Britain’s Nuclear Bomb Scandal

BBC

An eye-opening watch.

It tells the story of Britain’s postwar nuclear testing programme — and the lasting impact it’s had.

Around 39,000 British and Commonwealth servicemen were involved, witnessing dozens of atomic and hydrogen bomb tests, along with hundreds of radioactive experiments.

What really stays with you is the human side — the long-term health effects on veterans, their families, and indigenous communities.

👉 Not an easy watch, but an important one.

🎧

Nasalifya

Hil St Soul

Latest release from Hil St Soul — and a powerful one.

A deeply personal track, written in memory of her father, but also a wider message of gratitude to those who’ve paved the way.

I saw her perform live at a Soul event in Chester, and this one really stayed with me.

Smooth, soulful, and uplifting — with that choir-like feel running through it.

👉 One to put on when you want to slow things down and reflect.

💫 That’s a wrap for April

It’s been full on

MHFA courses.
Refresher sessions.
And a personal webinar for MHFA England — Redcoat, Racism and the Road to Healing.

A reflection on my own journey — the parts you don’t always talk about.

Also recorded an episode for the Becoming the Leader in You podcast.

More on that soon.

And a 200-mile trip down to Brighton.

Seafront hotel.
Soul 3-day festival.
Time in the recovery zone.

Back up to Bingham as well — second opinion on an osteoporosis diagnosis.

Looking at different approaches:

NHS DEXA scan vs REMS (Echolight) — a radiation-free, ultrasound-based way of assessing bone density and fracture risk.

Interesting to see where things are heading with that.

And May’s already shaping up.

Mental Health Awareness Week.
An NHS talk.
And a garden party invitation at SW1A — more on that soon.

But through it all, the same themes keep showing up.

Anxiety.
Pressure.
People carrying more than they let on.

If there’s one thing I’d leave you with:

👉 Don’t confuse functioning with being okay.

If you’re looking for something practical, I’ve pulled together a Resources section on the site — tools, downloads, and previous content you can dip into.

No sign-up. Just support.

With Mental Health Awareness Week coming up, a few organisations have already booked sessions.

There are still a couple of slots left for short talks or webinars.

👉 If you’re thinking about doing something that week, now’s the time to move.

Drop me a message and we’ll see what’s possible.

And the thought I’m taking out of April:

👉 Mental strength isn’t about keeping pace. It’s about knowing when to step back — and actually doing it.

— Mike

Let’s Stay Connected! 🔗💬

If something in this resonated, challenged you, or made you think — let’s talk.

Whether you’re feeling the pressure, dealing with quiet stress, or seeing this show up in your organisation…

👉 You don’t have to navigate it alone.

📩 Email me directly:
enquiries@mikelawrence.co.uk

Or just reply to this email.

Hi, I’m Mike Lawrence — Health & Wellbeing Management Consultant and Mental Health First Aid England Instructor.

After overcoming significant health challenges, including brain surgery, I’ve built my work around helping others navigate pressure, build resilience, and have the conversations that often get avoided.

I work with organisations to move beyond awareness — focusing on practical, real-world confidence when it comes to mental health.

📩 enquiries@mikelawrence.co.uk
🔗 https://mikelawrence.co.uk/ click here to read the latest blogs.